Written by Kayla Pujol ~

Mother Ayahuasca… Nimea Kaya…these are two things that have come to hold so much meaning to me in just under a year. They are two things that I knew absolutely nothing about five years ago, and two things that I can’t imagine my life without now. I have a really difficult time putting into words exactly “what” my experience was with Ayahuasca or the specific events that occurred while I was at Nimea Kaya. However, I do know that it is magical, transformational and world shattering- in the best way. It is not an easy path that gives you all of the answers, but it does show you that you are able to find all the answers if you put in the work and look deeply within. I learned that the journey of spiritual healing is not all good vibes, smoothie bowls and yoga classes. But it is also not so serious, heavy and emotional. Of course we all get to feel our full range of feelings, but embracing both sides of the spectrum and finding that delicate balance and harmony between the light and the dark is what it is all about. We have to embrace the fact that the darkness is part of the human experience too. The more we can learn to just let it be here, acknowledge it and allow it to exist within that light inherently inside all of us, that is how we begin to shift, uplift and heal. When we have resistance to something, we don’t receive the full gift of what it is here to offer us. You have to accept both the light and the dark, reach your arms out and embrace it all, because it is all a part of you. There are lessons and opportunities seeping out of both, just waiting for you to open your heart to them.

This is easier said than done, especially for me. I am not normally quick to open up, or change, and the way we do one thing is often the way that we do everything. It becomes your comfort zone, the way you approach most, if not all, situations. Your spiritual journey can fall into that category too if you are not aware. You must remember, above all else, that this experience is all about joy. Lighten up (literally). Relax. Let go. Let go of expectations- of yourself, of others, of the world around you. This was (is) a really hard lesson for me. I think that people who struggle with control issues or have a lot of anxiety want to anticipate or predict what is coming up in their life. I think that this comes from a place inside of them where in the past they had a moment or experience, or a handful of them, where they couldn’t predict or control a part of their life that really impacted them. The ego then pops into your head and says “okay let’s try to control everything from here on out because the world can be scary and life has pain”…etc. Then eventually over time, it really does become that robotic of a reaction, an automatic reaction to life where you just want to try to control, manipulate and decide things that can never be truly organized in that way. But controlling only takes away from the joy of life; to never have anything that is a surprise or unexpected that could be a negative impact, often also destroys the chance for those same type of experiences that are positive. You do not leave any room for magic when you plan out every aspect of your life. Just think about it- when leaves fall from a tree do you think that the tree says “Noooo!!! I wasn’t ready! You can’t leave me!!!” Nature is always such a great example for us to let things just flow, to allow things to die. To change and move forward into the different seasons of life. Because that is all that they are, seasons, forever changing and moving and simultaneously bringing us the “good” and the “bad”. For every menacing snowstorm, there is a quiet glittering white morning, where you are curled up by the fire with your favorite book and steaming hot beverage enjoying the view of what was once a “bad” moment. Think about it, in what areas of your life are you trying to control things and move them in a certain direction? And how is that going for you? The physical and emotional input that that takes is so incredibly draining. Stress and anxiety in situations like that is certainly a choice. You have a choice how you are going to show up in those moments, because no matter the amount of planning or prep work you do- they will happen. All of this to say there are many paths to the same place, and it is definitely your choice how you want to get there. You can either be stressed out, kicking and screaming the whole way because you wanted the path to look a certain way, or you can step back, take a deep breath, and see that this snowstorm too, will come to an end.